Our Joy Is In The One Who Chose Us To Represent Him

It was going to be an emotional discussion, she knew this. It had been brewing for years. It had been placed on the back burner then brought to the forefront multiple times, but then returned to the back burner because she continued to make excuses, " I can't handle this, I am not ready" and so the dance of the dialogue in her head continued. Little did she know, this was really a time of preparation. A time for her raw emotions - the hurt, anger and pain to subside. She had prayed about this situation several times, and had played the discussion in her head even more times, but always concluded that she never sensed that she needed to make a move or do anything so she turned the wick down and settled back into her routine.

Then the new year dawned and the scripture reminding her that she, anyone and everyone can come boldly to the throne where grace and mercy flows freely, Hebrews 4:10, surfaced. She knew this reminder was not just for her, but for everyone who may have thought that nothing could ever erase guilt or shame, and forgiveness was lost. So she turned the wick up and truly began to seek God again for His guidance in this situation. She immediately sensed she needed to share who Jesus was. She needed to find out if she knew Him. She needed to really find out who she was and what guided her life. Who or what was her North Star. So she decided she would meet with her. Finally. She was peaceful inside. She knew He had her. She wasn't flipping out. The dialogue in her head was calm.

So she met her. She talked. Questions asked. She answered. Explanations given. Guilt and shame screamed loudly. Then she asked the question. It was the perfect segway. What could she do to make it better.  She was so happy she asked. She smiled giddy with glee to share Jesus. "He washes guilt and shame away" she told her. "He forgives every sin and every mistake,  if she were truly sorry and she had a repentant heart. He makes all things new."  Then she stopped and inquired what her beliefs were. And then it happened. She didn't believe. She thanked her politely for sharing, and noted her passion for her faith, but she didn't believe in Him. Wow. So Pride krept in, or maybe it was righteous indignation, and so she told her,  defensively, the only reason she was living, breathing walking and talking was because of Him. She may not accept Him, but He is real. 

The conversation ended some time after that and she handed her the paper with the scriptures  that she had chosen for her.  The ones that explain what He did for her. She said thank you and that she would look at it.

She walked away with an unexplained excitement in her heart. She replayed the conversations in her head several times. What she should have said, how she should have said it. Was her voice calm, but ....She had shared Jesus!!. She had shared His word. Scripture is powerful and never returns void.  She was excited.  "But she doesn't believe"  the dialogue restarted, "Yes, yes, but God is greater. He can make all things new. She knew that. She had experienced His newness in the depth or her own being. He had washed away her shame and her guilt, She was forgiven" The dialogue dance continued, but she had forgotten to include the scripture telling her she could go boldly to the cross. She didn't include a verse that would tell her how much He loved her. " Stop! Stop! He is greater. He can make all things new." 

So what is that unexplained joy and excitement she is still experiencing inside. Please don't let it be her pride she prayed. Then she read these words: "...Our  JOY is in the One who chose us to represent Him."

Sandra LoganmayerComment